Happy Friday the 13th! Today children, we’re breaking all of the rules. In a few more sentences, you’ll see the decay of my average writing style in exchange for a more juvenile form. The reason I will write this way is because it will be more funny, crass, and quite frankly, why purport that I’m someone or something who I’m not?

To begin, I hate belief systems. They are, as a wise man once said, designed to scare and control primitive people. While I don’t see today’s victim causing holy wars or beheading journalists, Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW hereafter) are the worst pests for which there exists no repellent. Any given day of the week, they can be seen in your neighborhood, decked out in attire fit for pimps and queens. They approach your door with smiles ready to sell you on some shit you never wanted. Trespassing is a better word for what they actually do. All bullshit and jokes aside, the best deterrent for these fuckers is a dog.
Let your dog outside and they are sure to stay where they belong- off your property. Of course you could opt to place some sort of signage in front of your house, but let’s face it, why fuck up your house when you aren’t the problem. There are other things which come to mind…
In my line of work, it is incredibly hard to help them. When they come in and present their bullshit, I think to myself, “you believe this, so why are you here?” Such an ass-backwards type of thinking, these parasites would rather face death than receive blood products.

No thanks, I've got tiger blood.
Yes, you read that right. Perhaps you were already aware of this little fact. What you may not know is that they are not allowed to own pictures, celebrate birthdays, vote, salute the American flag, and a whole bunch of shit that makes Scientology look good. But I digress; let’s get back to the blood thing. The constituents of blood are as follows: erythrocytes, leukocytes, thrombocytes, plasma, serum albumin, anti-bodies, proteins and electrolytes. Nothing’s weird there. Everything you have just read is necessary to maintain homeostasis within the human body. However, these brain-dead bastards have it in their belief system that taking the important and lifesaving component of human blood into their circulatory system is somehow wrong. This translates to a higher mortality rate. Epic fail. A 2002 medical article by Khadra et al states:
“In the CEMD the very high risk of mortality in women who refuse blood transfusion was highlighted. The death rate in this group was 1 per 1,000 maternities compared with an expected incidence of less than 1 per 100, 000 maternities.”
Our next insult is child molestation. Would you believe that they have one of the highest rates of unreported cases of child molestation? These accounts are made public through DHS, and other government agencies that investigate cults, as well as defectors of “the watchtower.”

These little fuckers had the right idea.
But we should also understand that just as any other instance of molestation cases, these go unreported, largely due to the silence of the victimized. They are brainwashed from a very young age.

BeLIEve
We should be asking ourselves, what asshole is responsible for this shit? Who founded a cult so determined on recruiting that you don’t even have to leave your house; they’ll come to yours. Who is this asshole? Charles Taze Russell. Born in Pennsylvania, in 1852, this jerkoff recruited an army of like-minded assholes who easily digested what he was throwing up. He was most likely not the first to molest his followers, but he would not be the last.

He's right!
In summation, I hate them. I wish they would all fall off the face of the planet. Moving on to another neighborhood just means that they are migrating instead of dying. My words are harsh but their religion is worse. To quote the late Chuck Schuldiner, “If you doubt what I say, I will make you believe.” The following closing is lengthy, but necessary. This is a list of everything JWs are prohibited from performing on a daily basis. Happy Friday the 13th, Jehovah’s Witnesses!
141 Things Jehovah’s Witnesses Can’t Do
- Belong to another organization or club for the purpose of socializing with nonbelievers
- Have best friends and activity buddies who are not Jehovah’s Witnesses
- Associate with people outside their organization when it is not necessary
- Attend social functions sponsored by their employer unless attendance is required
- Associate with coworkers after business hours in a social settings
- Disagree with their organization’s rules and code of conduct
- Disagree with their organization’s doctrines
- Contribute to the Presidential Campaign Fund on their tax return
- Join the armed forces and defend their country
- Say the Pledge of Allegiance
- Salute the flag
- Vote
- Run for leadership in their organization
- Run for leadership in any organization
- Take a stand for any political issue inside their organization
- Take a stand on any political or ‘worldly’ issue outside of their organization
- Campaign for a political candidate
- Hold political office
- Discuss politics
- Be a union steward or shop steward
- Actively be involved in a union strike
- Use a gun for protection against humans
- Become a police officer if a gun is required
- Wear military uniforms or clothing associated with war
- Take yoga classes and practice the discipline of yoga. See Is Yoga For Christians?
- Smoke tobacco and cigars
- Work full time selling tobacco and cigars
- Attend Alcoholics Anonymous
- Donate blood
- Have blood transfusions
- Read books, magazines, publications, and literature from other religions.
- Buy anything from a church store
- Buy something at a church garage sale
- Donate items to a church run store
- Shop at the Salvation Army
- Work for the Salvation Army
- Work for another church
- Play competitive sports on a school team
- Play competitive sports professionally
- Run for class president
- Become a cheerleader
- Go to the school prom or school dance.
- Attend class reunions
- Be hypnotized
- Accept Jesus as their mediator, 1 Timothy 2:5. See Mediator
- Join the Boy Scouts
- Join the Girl Guides
- Join the YMCA.
- Serve on jury duty
- Study psychology, philosophy, sociology, and viewpoints that might shake their faith.
- Attend other Christian churches
- Attend nondenominational churches
- Attend non Christian churches
- Get married in another church
- Dating non believers is discouraged
- Casual dating is discouraged
- Dating someone without the intent of getting married
- Having sex before marriage
- Breaking an engagement can result in disciplinary action
- Marriage to non believers is not recommended
- Be gay or lesbian. Homosexuality is not acceptable.
- Throw rice at a wedding
- Get divorced unless the reason is adultery
- Can’t remarry unless their ex commits fornication first
- Toast drinks
- Buy a raffle ticket
- Play bingo
- Gamble
- Sing any holiday songs
- Sing the National Anthem
- Celebrate Christmas – Why?
- Celebrate New Years Eve – Why?
- Celebrate Easter – Why?
- Celebrate Mother’s Day – Why?
- Celebrate Father’s Day
- Celebrate birthdays – Why?
- Celebrate Thanksgiving
- Celebrate Flag Day
- Celebrate Veteran’s Day
- Celebrate Independence Day
- Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day
- Celebrate Valentine’s Day
- Celebrate Halloween – Why?
- Celebrate Hanukkah
- Accept holiday gifts – Why?
- Celebrate any holiday except the death of Jesus – Why?
- Partake in the bread and wine that represents Christ unless they are part of the 144,000
- Make holiday artwork for school
- Engage in holiday parties at school
- Take on a leadership role in school
- Porneia
- Do suggestive and immodest dancing in a public place
- Attend a class, workshop, or seminar, sponsored by another church
- Attend social events or fund raisers sponsored by another church
- Use of bad language (curse words) is discouraged
- Wear blue jeans, shorts, and casual clothing at the Kingdom Hall
- Wear pants at a Kingdom Hall if you’re a woman
- Wear revealing clothes or skirts that are too short (looked down upon)
- Wear long hair or facial hair if you’re a man (depends on the local customs of the country you live in)
- Body piercings are discouraged
- Tattoos are discouraged
- State or imply that the Watchtower is not run by Jehovah God.
- Have discussions and express Bible based viewpoints that contradict the organization’s beliefs
- Say anything negative about their organization. JW’s must ‘speak in agreement’ and be ‘like-minded’.
- Consider other religious beliefs as valid and truthful.
- Acknowledge any prayer spoken by a non believer as valid
- Take another Jehovah’s Witness to court
- Wear or own a cross
- Own any religious picture
- Own any religious statue
- Engage in idolatry
- Believe in miracles (except those found in the Bible) See Miracles
- Believe in ghosts
- Witchcraft
- Black magic
- White magic
- Consult with a psychic or become one
- Study tarot cards, get a reading or give a reading
- Study numerology or get a reading
- Dabble in ESP (extrasensory perception), dowsing, or divination
- Use a tool such as a pendulum to access information from the spiritual realm
- Attempt to communicate with departed spirits
- Attend a seance
- Believe in good luck or say things such as ‘Good luck to you’. Why?
- Believe in anything superstitious
- Prophesy
- Speaking in tongues
- Laying on of hands
- Energy healing such as Reiki
- Read their horoscope
- Study astrology or zodiac signs
- Combat training, boxing, or martial arts
- Go to heaven unless they are part of the 144,000
- Worship Jesus as God
- Idolize any celebrity or love and admire them to excess
- Women can’t be elders
- Women can’t be ministerial servants (assistants to the elders)
- Divulge secret information to enemies of their organization and those not entitled to know. See Theocratic Warfare
- Greet or talk with disfellowshipped persons except for immediate family living in the same house (except for rare exceptions)
- Associate with disfellowshipped persons except for immediate family living in the same house
- Keep secrets from the organization. Jehovah’s Witnesses must report friends and family members who break any of the Watchtower rules.

The only solution.
-T